3 things the Tories could do to win the next election

Since both the Davids seem usless, and it looks like the Tories will remain unelectible, I though I would put forward some friendly and helpful advise of what the Tories could do to become electible.

1)A name change: How about calling yourself Labour, that is universally popular, or Liberal Democrats appeal to the young vote, maybe you could go and look at the most popular American party for advise and be the Republican Party, although that might be confusing. Maybe look to TV for inspiration, The Doctor Who Party prehaps? Or maybe the Antiques Roadshow would be more accurute for the Conservative Party of today?

2)Get a better leader. Here are some suggests of more popular leaders:
a) A coathanger. Universally known and quiet usuful

b)Paul Daniels. The public would like him, not a lot, but they will like him...well more then any of the other leaders, but its not like it be magic to do that

c)Harry Potter. Ok a fictional character, but so is an electible Tory Leader.....but he is simular to Cameron, he is young, gone to a posh and elitist school and he is so liberal on drugs he puts magic mushrooms into stews...

d)A football with a smilie face on. Everyone would love that, and it would have more personality then IDS

e)A good friend (Rupert) has suggested a comb, or a spoon, at least with the spoon one of the caindates (note, I am not on about David Davis) could use it to take some crack.

3)Get new clothes. Every politican weres those suits, or tries to be casual, that is gotten so boring. Try going around in fancy dress, cross dressing or maybe even come dressed totally missed matched (bell bottoms and wooly beige sweaters) it wouldtake attention away from your policies at least.


Anyhow, that is enough of my Tory Bashing fun for now

Random Fact

US President John Quincy Adams repeatedly refused to give an interview to Anne Royall, the first female professional journalist in America. However, she found out that he liked to go skinny-dipping in the Potomac first thing in the morning, followed him to the river one day, stole his clothes, and sat on them until he gave in to her request.