"Dave" Cameron attempts to appeal to the youth vote

'Dave' Cameron approached the stage, dressed in a hood, wearing more jewelery then Mr.T, he step up to the mircophone and held it close to his mouth with one hand while holding his groin with the other:

"Yo, yo, yo whats happening y'all, you all ready to get down and happen with the dooogs from the T to the O to the R to the Y to the P to the A to the R to the T to the Y...? Groovey, then me and my bit..buddies, George "The Money" Osburn, David "SAS Hardman" Davis and William "The unborn Featus" Hague, are all here to talk to all you dudes about why the Tores are like so like the best and like coolest like urmm gang going, and way all you youngster will, by the end of this little tete a tete, or urmm I mean...errr a totally happending and radical recruitment urrm drive.

I know that everyone 'ere is like, so, like, fed up of that old man Blair, cos of his like you know, like, his lies and how like terrible he is running the country, you know, like, he and his old men friends are so like totally not like with it like at all, he like has no like understanding of youth culture and no like respect for us innit.

Blair and Labour keeps coming out and dissing us for what we like choose to wear and like what we choose to say and do, but he gotta understand that this is like, our you know, innit, our culture, we dont you know, mean like, any harm and I plan to you know, like, in the next Prime Minister questions, which you know, are like a total yawn-fest and a vouage to snooze city, but, I will tell the Prime Minsiter that he should talk to the hand cos the face ain't listerning, that we do these things cos we want to, cos we want to and that if he starts to like diss me, or hoody culture I will tell him 'whatever'.

Here is were the ideas of the hip, happening and totally radical uber Conservtive Party are different to that of the naff, uncool, saddo Labour Party, the Tories want to hug a hoodie, we want to make you all feel loved, because it is unfair that like, you know, that is so unfair, that we are like discriminated against because we like choose to wear hoodies, I like know that many malls stop hooded people from going inside them, I even met a monk that was stopped for like wearing a cloak wid like da hood on it, you know what I mean man?

And I think you would all agree that the so-called IPOD canndiate, me, Dave Cameron, has and will give the Tories some pretty bad policies (*Bad means good right?* thinks Camron) and a pretty bad reputation amoung all of you young, hip, happening dudes and errr...female dudes, oh dudettes, and that our bad policies, no matter if you are a CHAFF, EMU, Goth, Skaterboarder, geek, nerd, streetie or any other sub culture you will all have the same opinion of me as a bad bottom politican that has kick butt policies and will make Britain bling again, you know innit, anyway I just want to finish this now, so thanks to you all and I hope that it keeps hanging"

Tomorrow we have coverage David Cameron's speech to traditional right wing members, where he will be talking about the importance of the police, tackling yob culture and Labour's failure on anti-social behaviour...

Random Fact:

Rough Music was a sort of proto-ASBO, a form of community punishment practised well into the 20th century. Offenders had perhaps been wife-beaters, or, paradoxically, allowed themselves to be henpecked. His neighbours would gather outside his home in the night, call out his name and his crime, and proceed to make "rough music" with pots, pans, buckets, etc, until the noise - or the humiliation - ran him out of town. Also known as "riding the stang".